Can we go to the ABC Store

After preschool today the kids and I had to run a quick errand at the post office, when we pulled up....

Jack: Oooooh can we go to the ABC place?

Me: the what?

Jack: The ABC place

Me: Jack I have no clue what you're talking about

Jack: The ABC store over there (pointing across the street) where I got my toy police car!!!

Me (looking across the street):  You mean CVS?

Jack: Yes, the abc store. 

A Scooby Doo Wedding

Tonight I put both kids to bed, went downstairs to clean up and watch some Tv, and assumed that  since all was quiet upstairs then everyone was obviously sleeping. Apparently that whole saying about assuming anything applies to making assumptions about sleeping children as well.

When I headed up to bed at 11 pm I realized I could hear voices in Zoe's room. I stood outside her door for a few minutes and could hear bits and pieces of talk about a wedding and finally decided to open the door and go in. I found both kids, out of pajamas and in dress clothes....
Me: What in the world is going on? Why aren't you guys asleep? Where are your pajamas?
Jack: Oh I had to get dressed up
Zoe: Yea, we were having a wedding
Me: Who was getting married?
Zoe: Oh I told Jack we were, I'm Daphne and he's Freddy (my kids are obsessed with Scooby Doo).
Jack: Yup we are all married,  those are the kids  (as he points to Zoe's five million stuffed animals).

So to recap, the day started off with Jack having a reaction to peanuts, heading to the ER for treatment, everyone had a quick nap and recovered from that, we played outside all afternoon, and THEY ARE STILL AWAKE AT 11PM!!!

Cat Got Your Tongue?

Zoe has apparently learned the phrase "cat's got your tongue" somewhere, but missed the memo on how to properly use it.....
Jack * whining and crying*
Zoe: Awww Jack what's wrong, cat got your tongue?
Jack: NO CAT! *still crying*
Zoe: yea that cat does have your tongue and he's scratching it and making you say wahhh waaahh waaahh

Chanel Chance

Winston, as he passes Zoe coming down the stairs: Zoe have you gotten into Mommy's perfume?

Zoe: No, I put on some of my perfume. I just let Mommy borrow it when she wants to smell fancy.

I'm Feeling 22

Zoe: Mom play me the hamster song.
Me: The what?
Zoe: The dress up like hamsters song
Me: What are you talking about? Can you sing it?
Zoe: You know..*begins singing* "It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hamsters....oooh I'm feeling 22."
Annnnd apparently Zoe has thought Taylor Swift was dressing as a hamster and not a hipster this entire time.

When You Wish Upon A Star

Me: Hey Jack and Zoe look how big the moon is tonight.
Zoe: Oooh mommy can we wish? I wish for a star.
Me: It's wish upon a star, you can actually wish for whatever you want.
Zoe: Ok...I wish I would loose my tooth and the tooth fairy would forget me. You know why? Because that really did already happen to me and she left me tattoos and lip gloss with my dollars.
Jack: Ughhh I wish to not loose a tooth so the fairy doesn't bring me lip gloss

Bedtime Prayers

 Zoe: Dear God, please help me not be scared tonight. Also please help Jack be more bad than me so I don't keep getting in trouble.

Finally Giving In and Starting a Blog

     I've been blowing up my Facebook newsfeed for a good three or so years now with all the ridiculous things my children manage to say on a daily basis (seriously, I think we have a higher than average count of "did she really just say that?!" around here). Since I had children before many of my friends, I figured it might be time to stop scaring them from ever having children give them a break from reading the day to day of what life is really like around our house. Plus one day I'm obviously going to want to embarrass them in front of their friends and what better way than by having a blog full of ideas?

 

  So, if you stumbled here hoping to find another stay at home mom blog, full of Pinterest worthy recipes, birthday party ideas, and adorable crafts that I have completed with my two always well behaved children inside of our spotless, perfectly decorated home then you're probably on the wrong blog. Don't worry, I read those blogs too and will gladly recommend a few :) 

If you can appreciate sarcasm, failed attempts at trying to be that awesome Pintrest mom (these usually start at 10pm the night before and result in any of the following; yelling, grumbling, setting off smoke alarms, wondering why in the world I felt the need to volunteer for said class party, and driving the to grocery store to replace whatever is it I was trying to make.), and reading all the crazy conversations I have with my children on a daily basis then you're in the right place.

 

In case you aren't familiar with the two main "authors" of this blog, let me introduce you. Zoe is 4.5 years old, going on 16. She was basically born with the attitude of a teenager and just keeps getting sassier day by day. She also makes me laugh every single day and seems to have a pretty good knack for throwing something funny in right as she's about to get in trouble. Jack is 3 and while he might have started off much more timid and quiet than his sister, he is making up for lost time....seriously the boy talks from the moment he wakes up and literally talks himself to sleep every night.